Monday, November 25, 2013

What To Expect When Expecting Little

There are well over 3 million blogs on the internet right now. 3 MILLION. So what makes me think that I can get anyone to read my one little, shitty blog? Absolutely nothing. But, I hope that I can at least hook a few of you and keep this up. 

So, what will I be blogging about? You know, that's a really good question. I went in to this thinking that I had to have an overall theme. Technology? Movies? Games? Comedy? Does delving into ones own psyche count? Because that seems to be what I've landed on. You might be asking yourself how someone can self analyze and keep things lighthearted and fun to read. After all, I'm a comedian. A glorified clown that dances on command, right? To be honest, it's going to get dark at times. But, that's just what happens because that's what is honest. Personally, honest is always more interesting. I've done a pretty good job of keeping a lot of thoughts to myself (while sober, anyway.) Standup comedy has a way of bringing things out of you that you never thought you'd tell anyone, let alone a room full of strangers. So, with a confidence that is incredibly rare, I say... Fuck it.

Let's start off by telling a bit about me. At this exact moment, I am a 25 year old man that lives in Southern Illinois. Thanks to a number of poor decisions, I moved back in with my mom a little over a year ago. I've dropped out of community college (4 times) and I've not had a real job in 10 months. I'm what a lot of people would call a loser. Sure, it's a negative term that makes me want to mouth-fuck the business end of a shotgun and Kurt Cobain my way to Valhalla, but it's not like they're wrong... However, I'm working on fixing things. So that's a plus. 

I started doing comedy in May of 2012. Doing standup has been something I've wanted to do since I was in grade school. In fact, when we were supposed to dress as what we wanted to be when we grew up, I donned a button up shirt and sunglasses. Apparently, that's what a dumb kid like me thought would represent a comedian. Yes, while surrounding by little police officers, doctors, firemen, and astronauts... I was the little comic with practically no friends. You can imagine the feigned pride my parents showed. Surprisingly, my very first time on stage went incredibly well. Due mainly to being introduced as a first timer, I'm sure. I haven't looked back since. I spent the following 7 months bombing weekly and getting drunk before and after every open mic. To the shock of everyone who knows me, I kept going and learned from my mistakes. It's not like I'm making a living performing every week. I'm gradually getting better and trying to get my name out there. It's optimism and it scares the fucking shit out of me. As do most new things.

I'm not going into my childhood yet. That's going to be a whole series of me dealing with issues. In a weird way, I'm excited to write about them. I've taken a couple stories on stage and did my best to make them funny, and that seems to have gone well. It was after doing that when I was told that somebody could relate to what I was saying and had been through a lot of the same things. It was comforting for them to know they weren't alone. I've had some great shows in my short career and I've even made a bit of money. But that was easily they greatest feeling I've had since I started doing this.

So, there it is. A little intro. I'll be posting a new blog every Monday. So, if you think you'll like it, check back next week. Tell your friends, too. I crave attention.


  1. This should be very entertaining...looking forward to Mondays now :)

    1. Glad you think so! Share it with everyone you know! Hopefully I can build an audience.